HELP NEEDED! I responded excitedly: ”Yes, I'm available wherever.” The conference was getting closer and excitement was mounting! Tickets were purchased for those who otherwise might not be able to attend. COVID had no restrictions (the guidelines removed) on a group of women crowding into a prepared place for a weekend of worship and the Word.
The parking garage was filling up. I reported for my assignment. Yes, I had agreed to “wherever". And if needed, I would serve as a Greeter.
My post was what most people would consider the "basement level" just in case anyone came through from the street parking area, which was a far walk to the conference hall.
I greeted a few moms who had dropped their babies off at the Nursery, and I still had the smile and the directions to the Conference Hall. Neither seemed needed.
During that time I was inundated with the inner thoughts I've fought at low points in my life, feelings like "not really needed". The ain't got what it takes feelin’ came floodin' into my mind.
It has been a while since the spiritual conference, where lives were touched and transformed. Was mine? I'm still processing the impact that the night's directions for my service, “you're to go to the street (lower) level”, had on my mind, heart, and life. I tried to leave it at the conference. The directions wouldn't go away. They came home with me. They spring up almost daily. You are assigned the bottom floor.
I heard the laughter from the floor above. I missed seeing the people come in that I had invited. Photos were being snapped and filed. I served as a Greeter on the unairconditioned bottom floor, with little or no traffic, until time to start!
What makes a woman of value? During COVID I straightened my bookcases and found "A Woman's Guide to Spiritual Warfare" book from years ago, one of the chapters: “Recognizing What Satan Wants to Do to Women.”
Satan's strategy is to magnify a simple statement in your mind and heart. The enemy, who hates women, loves seeing you cast down, feeling insignificant and unworthy. He delights in causing you to feel debilitated, hidden, out of sight.
But why? Why does it seem to paralyze me? Did I really mean “wherever, wherever needed”, when I committed to serve? Then why did it hurt so badly to leave the floor of excitement and smiles to go to a stuffy basement area waiting for a door to open, meanwhile hearing the laughter and chit-chat going on above as people entered, welcomed by the well-decorated signs?
The auditorium was ready with a magnificent setting and music. Did I hear the heart of the conference as I should have? Probably not. My thoughts kept drifting back to my assignment: "You are needed on the bottom floor, just in case some women come in that way."
Maybe it is because most of my life I've waited for the right door, the “wherever”, to open the place of service where I felt I belonged.
In searching the definition of "wherever" one of the comments stated: "when you are older, you're better equipped mentally to cope with wherever or whatever." Really?
Then why do we still search for a place to serve, even if we are told to go down there. I took it as to go wherever.
Would God say to me to go wherever? Yes!
Serve the LORD with gladness.
—Psalm 100:2, KJV