By 
It’s Valentine’s Day, and because I know all of our Womenary readers are scholars, historians, and theologians, I’m sure you came here expecting to read about Saint Valentine of Rome and the history of persecution, martyrdom, feasting, and epilepsy treatment (you can google that one) that are associated with his heritage, yet often left out of our modern celebration on February 14.
But here’s the thing: I’m a romantic at heart. Technically, by design, so are you. Even before I had experienced any romance of my own, I was a sucker for a good love story. I rooted for true love to rescue all the princesses from their miserable lives and mean stepmothers. I teared up frequently, listening to the country radio station my dad always had on in his pickup truck during our commutes to and from school. If you’re willing to admit it, you cried right along with me when you finally realized you had reached the end of the “broken road” that Rascal Flatts so poetically explained as God’s blessed plan to lead you to your one true love.
The truth is, as a young, single woman I thought God would lead me to my greatest love story in the form of marriage. I prayed He would provide me with a godly husband who loved the Lord first, and me a (very) close second. And in many ways, that’s exactly what He did. I met my husband in the winter of 2006 in the super-hip fashion of the youngsters of our generation, at a church singles Christmas party. It would take us almost a year to realize we had romantic interest in each other. During that season we car-pooled to church with groups of friends, and heard the words of the Lord preached in a way that would change and shape both of our hearts to this day. Eventually we made a covenant vow to love, honor, and cherish each other all our lives. And then we lived happily ever after—for about 10 days.
It didn’t take these young newlyweds long to figure out that God’s design for marriage was anything but a blissful ride off into the sunset. We get a beautiful picture of the Lord’s unconditional love for us when we commit to the covenant of marriage. We also learn that when two sinners become one flesh, logic and the application of mathematical principles will lead to the conclusion that we also get double the sin. While we may ride off into that sunset, just over the horizon the real work begins.
By the world’s standards, marriage exists so we might find the person in the world who “completes us” and makes our lives happy and fulfilled. It’s no wonder that divorce rates are skyrocketing and most marriages fall apart in the first five-to-seven years. Rather, if on Valentine’s Day and every day we were to shift our definition of love to align with the picture Scripture paints for us, God’s design presents a standard that’s more romantic, beautiful, and fulfilling than even the best Emily Dickinson poem or Nicholas Sparks novel.
When it comes to the topic of love and marriage, we want to immediately jump to the poetic Song of Solomon or Paul’s letters to the Corinthians. Instead, to get the full picture of God’s love for His creation we need to go all the way back to the beginning. In Genesis 1:27 (NIV), we get the origin story of humankind: So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Don’t miss the eternal and profound importance that’s communicated in this one verse: in his own image He created us. It was so significant we understand this that it’s repeated three times in Genesis 1:26-27. These verses also identify that both the male and female were created in His image, meaning we are all “image-bearers” of our God. One implication of this truth is that while no two sinners are able to provide the completion of each other’s short comings, we can learn more about who the God of the universe actually is through relationship with our spouse and other humans created by God to display certain attributes of His character.
My husband and I are the epitome of the adage that opposites attract. He is a logical, pragmatic engineer who thrives on order and routine; I am a left-brained creative who desires spontaneity and makes most decisions based on emotion. As you can imagine, conflict arises as we try to navigate our lives in oneness. When we are not in a healthy place of seeking the Lord first and laying our selfish desires on the altar of sacrifice, things can get really ugly, really fast. But when I am seeking the Lord first, I recognize that I can know Him more fully by leaning into these differences and seeking to understand their place and purpose rather than fighting against them. Throughout the Bible God reveals Himself to be a God of order, of purpose, steady and constant. While I may not be these things, walking in covenant relationship with my husband who bears shadows of these traits of God can only bring me closer to understanding who God is. In the process I grow more like Him.
At the same time it’s pertinent to distinguish here that what the Bible is not revealing in Genesis 1 is that we are all demi-gods who have the capabilities to display the full attributes of God’s character if we just work hard enough. It only takes a single case-study to prove that false—pick anyone, biblical or not, living or dead. So as not to single out any one individual, let’s take the Nation of Israel, called by God as His chosen people then physically and miraculously delivered from slavery. Within days of walking on dry ground through the middle of the sea, these people began to doubt the faithfulness of God and believe they’d been led out into the wilderness to die: The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the LORD’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death” (Exodus 16:3, NIV).
When we turn our eyes and hearts away from God and begin to put too much trust or faith into any person, even that seemingly perfect boyfriend-turned-spouse that God delivered right to our doorstep, we can be certain that instead of seeing God more fully we’ll quickly be met with disappointment. Our marriages can be a breeding ground of love and sanctification as we sharpen one another like iron. They can also be a weak and failed representation of true love when we remove our adoration from the Creator and try to place that full weight on the created. As every generation from Adam and Eve to the Nation of Israel to now have proven, there is only one love that can endure under the full weight of man’s shortcomings: But it was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery… Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments (Deuteronomy 7:8-9, NIV).
Over 1,400 years later, God would reveal the intricate details of the most beautiful love story our world has ever, or will ever know, in the birth, life, death, and resurrection of His son Jesus Christ. Christ would come to pursue the hearts of God’s wayward children and to show God’s great desire to be reconciled to His creation. Ultimately He would make the greatest demonstration of sacrificial love in His own death on the cross, creating a path for our fallen, sinful race to come back to an intimate relationship with our first and most true love.
- For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him, shall not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16, ESV).
- But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8, NIV emphasis added).
This is the gospel. It’s the over-arching story of the entire Bible. It’s the oldest, most epic love story in the world, and it belongs to each of us.
Tami Spencer
Tami is a freelance writer, marketer, blogger, Womenary board member, and member of the children’s ministry and women’s Bible study teams at Bethel Bible Church in Tyler, Texas. Tami and her husband, William, have been married for 15 years and have 5 children, Becton (12), Addie Leigh (9), Norah (7), and twins Slone and Sophie (2.5). 
