By 
One of the things we try to stress in Womenary is: our theology matters. We aren’t asked to share our theology very often. Usually we are simply living out what we believe. That is why I think it is so important to know what you believe.
I am in a Chaplain residency program right now at Christus Trinity Mother Frances Hospital. There are six people in my program. We have assignments each week, and one of our recent assignments was to present to the group our theology of suffering and pastoral care. The purpose was to examine what we believe and how it affects our ministry.
As I gathered my thoughts, I considered how the theology I had been taught had helped me during some of the most difficult moments in my life. I also pulled out the final paper I wrote during seminary—on the theology of suffering and the problem of evil. I read many books on the subject to help me get a grasp of which direction to take. One in particular was very helpful, opening my eyes to a subject we rarely talk about. It is the theological concept of providence.
Thomas Oden, in his book Classic Christianity: A Systematic Theology, says this about providence:
“[Providence] concerns how God thinks ahead to care for all creatures, fitting them for contingencies, for challenges and for the glory of God…more than simply foresight, providence has to do with the active, daily caring of God for the world amid its hazards.…It is faith in providence that enables Christians to pray that God will carry them through hazards, care for them, and be present to them amid ordinary and extraordinary human struggles. Without God’s providing, the act of praying would be absurd. The Belgic Confession of 1561 says, ‘This doctrine affords us unspeakable consolation, since we are taught thereby that nothing can befall us by chance, but by the direction of our most gracious and heavenly Father, who watches over us with a paternal care, keeping all creatures so under his power that not a hair of our head (for they are all numbered,) nor a sparrow, can fall to the ground without the will of our Father, in whom we do entirely trust.’” (p. 144)
We talk often about God’s sovereignty, His goodness, and His love. But when bad things happen, these are the very things that do not seem to make sense. How can a loving God allow bad things to happen? For me, the topic of the providence of God brought together His sovereignty, His goodness, His power, and His hiddenness.
Providence is the understanding that God is preserving, co-operating, and guiding His creation through all of history toward its final end—redemption. I think Job summarizes it best when he says, “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2, ESV). Faith is holding fast to the belief that God is in control, not manipulating things but guiding things toward their perfect end.
I love the way John of Damascus puts it: “If providence is God’s will, then, according to right reason, everything that has come about through providence has quite necessarily come about in the best manner and that most befitting God, so that it could not have happened in a better way.” Therefore Jesus, and we, can pray “Thy will be done” because we know God will bring about what is best and will bring Him the most glory. This is not a prayer of resignation, but of affirmation that God knows what is best. It affirms the high, holy, mysterious purposes of God we cannot fathom as humans. (Isaiah 55:9)
All these things sound very nice and convincing on paper; but when life hits hard and devastating things happen, it becomes very personal. I remember standing in my daughter’s living room while she lay dying in the hospital and asking myself, “Do you really believe what you have written in that paper back in Dallas that is sitting on your desk?” I heard myself say, “Yes, I do. I believe God is good and God is present with me. I trust Him.” Thirty years earlier, when my brother was suddenly killed in a car wreck and I received the phone call, I thought to myself, “God, you could have stopped that wreck, but you didn’t. You must have a plan I cannot see.” In both situations, the truth of who God is and His providential nature consoled my heart and helped me to withstand the storm.
Oden goes on to say, “The teaching of providence is much closer to the daily life of the believer than at first it might seem. It is interwoven with the power and courage to live the responsible life day by day, to persevere through trying difficulties, and to celebrate divine guidance amid hostile environments.” (Ibid)
My daughter’s death occurred six weeks before I graduated from seminary. I was willing to walk away from all the hard work of the previous five years if that was what was best for her husband and children; but my husband said, “No. I want you to finish.” I had said all along that it would only be by God’s grace that I walked the stage. I just had no idea how much grace it was going to take.
I did finish, and three years later began to consider what God wanted me to do with the degree I had. When I started seminary, I had no other desire than to learn the languages of the Old and New Testaments. I loved disaster relief work, and so I decided my focus in my master’s program would be para-church ministry. But . . . I still had no plan for what I would do with my degree. Of course that was the number one question I received from everyone as my seminary journey progressed. Three years into seminary I realized I needed to think about an internship.
I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I prayed, “Lord, just give me something I will enjoy.” Well, an email came across my computer shortly after the September 11 attacks. It was from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association who had created what they called Rapid Response teams. These were teams of chaplains who go out behind the first responders, and listen to the stories and pray with those who have been affected by the disaster. As I watched the video I said to myself, “That is so me”, which led me to thinking of looking for a residency as a chaplain. Just two weeks later I interviewed at Hospice of East Texas and ended up doing my internship there over the next year. That is where I learned about the residency program I am in right now.
I believe we are each created uniquely. The stories of our lives are in God’s hands. I remember feeling so frustrated during seminary that I didn’t know what I wanted to do once I was finished. One day I came to terms that I could be comfortable with—because I knew God knew what was next. I finally decided I was tired, and would just go home and be a normal wife and grand mom for a while. That is not how it turned out.
For the first two years after my daughter’s death I could hardly breath, much less visualize myself doing anything so taxing as a residency program. Slowly, after three years of grieving, I began to pray and test the waters of venturing out and doing something with my degree. During that time I read a couple of books that helped me face the fears I had and listen carefully to what God might be saying.
A devotional I read the other day shared an excerpt from Annie Downs’ new book, 100 Days to Brave. She was talking about how we are all unique creations made in God’s image, and “We each have to be brave in our own ways.” What she had to say resonated with me and the journey I have been on as I have sought the Lord what to do next. As I prayed and journaled and thought about my life thus far—the unique things I have been through and the unique ways God has created me—I sensed God encouraging me to trust Him, be brave, and apply for the chaplain residency program. I applied, was accepted, and began the program on August 21.
When I arrived at the Pastoral Care Office on the first day of residency, I remember turning around to get a chair as we made a circle for the first time. As I took the chair to sit in I remember saying, “I don’t know whose chair this is.” I grabbed the chair, I looked up and saw my name on the back of the cubicle. It was as if God said, “I’ve been waiting for you.” I was overwhelmed with an awareness of God’s hand on my journey. It encouraged me. Suddenly I realized that each person I would be seeing was a part of God’s divine plan for my life. That was both humbling and exciting.
Ephesians 2:10 says, we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them (NET).
This applies to every believer. You and I were created uniquely, for purposes that God designed and will accomplish. Isaiah 46:9-10 says, “I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things that are not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure’” (NKJV).
I don’t know what obstacles or fears you have about what is in front of you, or what your future might be. I do know God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us (Ephesians 3:20, NKJV). So, get on your knees, seek the Lord, and be brave.
“The painting of your life is a masterpiece that will never be replicated, and there’s a brave brush to use in this painting that will change everything for God’s glory and for your good. Maybe you want to move to another country to live and share about Jesus. My friend, that is brave. It really is. But so is being a stay-at-home mom. And so is being a cable technician. So is being an author or a baseball player or a chef. Courage looks different for each of us. God made you on purpose and unique. God has called you to be brave. And God will equip you to do it.” —Annie Downs
Kim Prothro
Kim fell in love with Jesus and studying God's word in the eighth grade. That eventually led to a dream of attending seminary which she did after her children were grown. She graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary in 2013 with a Masters in Theology and was part of the original group of women who founded Womenary in 2008. She has been a past professor for Womenary and is currently the Director of Soul Care at Living Well Holistic Counseling and Wellness Center. Kim can be contacted at kim.prothro@gmail.com. 
